Robert & Jacksons

This is a true story

Jacksons is/was a small supermarket chain in Hull

Robert is/was a vegetarian in Hull...

Robert is just

Popping Down The Shops.

He needs some Chick Peas

for Hummus

for Tea.

I’ll try Jacksons, he thinks.

He goes in to

the Little Supermarket

and goes along The Aisles

looking for the Tinned Goods

They’ve got

Mushy Peas

and Cut Beans

in tins.

They’ve got Little Baby Potatoes

and Butter Beans

and Creamy Mushrooms

in tins.

And of course

they’ve got

Baked Beans

in Several Different Varieties.

But no Chick Peas.

Robert goes to the checkout

He says to the Young Lady who works on the till

Excuse me, do you have Chick Peas?

She says

What?

Chick Peas, he repeats.

Do you sell Chick Peas?

Er, I Dern’t Kner.

I’ll Gerandask?*

She goes to the Back Of The Shop

and Out Through The Door.

She is gone Some Time.

She must be finding some,

thinks Robert.

Eventually she returns

She looks at him for a moment

with a Curious Expression,

and then she says,

What did you say they were?

Chick Peas, says Robert again.

Have you got any Chick Peas?

Er, Hang On, she says

and she disappears out the back again.

Another few minutes pass.

Where Is She? thinks Robert.

She comes back and looks at him again

quizzically.

Eggs

Well?

says Robert.

Er,  she says,

Do you mean eggs?

*

This is "Hull" for "Oh I don't know, I'll go and ask."

Chick Peas