A collection of poems and other writings...

Tuesday 26 August 2014

The Feeding of The Muse

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Boys and Girls,

Today at Eight
and then again at Six
there will be

The Feeding of The Muse.

If you wish to observe
this Engaging Event
please assemble in Plenty of Time
at the Assembly Point
indicated by Your Guide

Note:
When feeding has commenced
there will be

No Going Back.

Please do not stand
forward of the
Yellow Line
(Any unauthorised crossing of the
Yellow Line
is entirely at

Your Own Risk.)

If you listen carefully
you may be able to hear
the
Call of The Hungry Muse
while you are waiting
(Although, ironically
the Call is a
Deep
Dark and
Distinctive
Silence.)

Please hand all
Electro-magnetic Equipment
to
The Attendant

No Flash Photography
is Permitted
as this can damage

The Vision of the Muse.

You are advised to
Dress Appropriately –
Wet Weather Attire
may be required
as
The Feeding of The Muse
can be a somewhat
Messy Business.

Light Refreshments
will be available
in Reception but
Please Refrain
from
Feeding The Muse
Unregulated  Titbits
as this can lead to
Over Stimulation,
Loss of Tone,

and a
Terrible Mess
to clear up.

Disclaimer:

Please Note
that while
The Feeding of The Muse
takes place at
Regular Intervals
The Muse may not actually produce anything
of Any Value
for weeks.

The Management
cannot be held responsible
for
Non-Appearance
of the Muse
or any
Sense of Disappointment
induced in Observers.

Any Admission

is Retractable.

The Martian Schoolgirl

I was in love with a Martian Schoolgirl
Her eyes were green as steel
She fired her poison darts at me
And taught me how to feel.

I was in love with a Martian Schoolgirl
I followed her into space
But if I tried to kiss her
She slapped me round the face.

I was in love with a Martian Schoolgirl
Her hair was as dark as the dead.
She flew in her little spaghetti craft
Three feet above my head.

I was in love with a Martian Schoolgirl
She sang as sweet as the night
She put out a single on Cherry Red Records
But they banned it out of spite.

I was in love with a Martian Schoolgirl
The pick of the Martian crop
I wanted her to love me back
Then I couldn’t make her stop.

I was in love with a Martian Schoolgirl
But she didn’t treat me right
She drank my blood in the bike shed
And kept me out all night.

I was in love with a Martian Schoolgirl
An earthbound schoolboy’s dream
She never even learned my name
But she taught me how to scream.

Now Martian Schoolgirls come and go
And this one came and went
And the currency of my human heart

Has all been spent.

Thursday 21 August 2014

Name-bers

When I was young I loved that old counting rhyme Yan, tan tethera reputedly chanted by shepherds counting sheep.  I got to playing about and this happened...


Una, tom, terry, perry,
paul,
stella, steven, olaf, nina,
dick.

Dickuzzi, dicktum, dictionary, pictionary,
digaul,
dickella, kesteven, dickolaf, dickina,
tomalin.

Unatomalin, tomtomalin, terrytomalin, perrytomalin,
paulotomalin,
stellatomalin, stevatomalin, olatomalin, ninatomalin,
terrylene.

Unaterrylene, tomyterrylene, terryterrylene, perryterrylene,
pauloterrylene,
stellaterrylene, steviaterrylene, olaterrylene, ninaterrylene,
peridot.

Unaperidot, tomyperidot, terryperidot, perryperidot,
paulaperidot,
stellaperidot, steviaperidot, olaperidot, ninaperidot,
palomino.

Unapalomino, tompalomino, terrypalomino, perrypalomino,
paulapalomino,
stellapalomino, steviapalomino, olapalomino, ninapalomino,
stelartois.


Stelartois…

Stephanotis…

Olazabal…

Ni…
Unani, tomni, terryni, perryni, paulani
Stellani, steviani, olafni, ninani…

Una Hungary

Tom Hungary

Alexandria

Tomalexandria


Maximillian

Tuesday 5 August 2014

David and Goliath

When
David stood before the Giant
he armed himself with stone and sling
against the mighty Philistine magnum - 
the sword, the spear, the death machine.

And
those who watched would hold their breath
and stand hand in hand on the bank of Elah
to see him fight the mountain man
dressed in armour and with helm of bronze.

And
so bravely young David stood
and shouldered all the fear and dread
of a nation under battle
their hopes and dreams of life in peace

The
shepherd boy who leads his country
to victory over the savage foe,
who holds the just and fairest vision
of life to live, and love to grow.

And
Saul the King was afraid of David
for the Lord was with him
then.

Now
when I look
at the weak and the powerful
all I see are tables turning.
I cannot see where David stands
But is this he who phones a warning?
Is this he who drives the tank?
Is this he beneath this dome?
Is he now the bold protector
fighting for the oppressed home?

I cannot see the justice
and maybe I cannot see the truth
but I can see who holds the sling

and 
who holds the bloody sword.