Submissions

Do not send me poems written in mist!

Remove the words I cannot understand                                             

just leave the ones you need (take out "the clouds")

then fix them down with ink or blood or fist.

Clench the meaning, don’t ever let it slip.

And don’t add extra words to fill the line.

Find a different way of making sense

so what you say comes tripping off your lip.

You shouldn’t need to fiddle about with rhymes

I never really like them anyway

I find that rhyme can just get in the way

and make you say things you don’t mean

And please don’t bring “your heart” into the verse

or tell me that your soul is “yearning still”

or make out that the night is “full of pain”

God!  Suddenly this headache’s getting worse.

If you’ve got something to tell me, tell me straight!

Don’t faff about with spongy epithets;

no symbols, similes or metaphors

just good old English – get it on the plate!

No more than forty lines, too, if you would,

and set them out in Times New Roman Twelve.

Double spaced!  Please – I need some space to write

these helpful little comments for your good.

A roundabout way to getting laid

This was inspired by the incident in the first stanza and, like many great stories before it, first appeared in serialised form... on twitter... about two hours ago... 

(it has, however, been re-edited so those sticklers amongst you who have already started counting characters will notice that some stanzas are in fact more than 140 long!)

A pickup truck approaches

a roundabout.

Alan the passenger

chats &

gesticulates wildly

causing the driver to flinch

and perform a small swerve

which leads

to the driver

in the car

in the lane

next to him

Andy

currently singing along to his cd of LesMiserables

to oversteer

which means

the massimo cinnamon latte

from Costa

slightly misplaced

in the cupholder

on his dashboard

tumbles

scaldingly

into his lap.

On arriving at work

Andy has no choice

but to change

his sodden trousers for

his obliging boss’s

luminous

& voluminous

jogging pants.

Consequently,

at the meeting at which

Andy

was to give a presentation

his place is taken

by archnemesis

since PreSchool

Steve Nicholls.

Steve is

all charm and smarm

and while the directors

smile and joke with him

and slap him

on the back

they are unimpressed

with his figures.

The Deal is Lost.

Andy is

disappointed

he had worked hard

but enjoys a few moments

of schadenfreude

at Steve’s

discomfort

and that night

after her initial guffaws

at his garb

Andy and Sandra’s

lovelife is rekindled

as she soothes

his scalded leg

with lotion

Nine months later

if this were a story

they could have

named the child

for the Passenger

in the pickup

but Andy

had no memory

of the incident.

More twitterings from me

I love the discipline of 140 characters.  Most of these are inspired by observations as I walk around town - with a healthy sprinkling of fiction...

#arse

Your arse sweeps

around the corner

behind you

like a flock of

sugar-buzzed

nephews

#poorly

A furtive filigree

has permeated my organs

wrapping its foul fingers

around my kidneys

poking holes

in the portmanteau

of my aching head

#cadaver

The cadaverous old lecher

we have known lies

muffled in a blanket

of solitude & misery.

Self pity

sports flimsy clothing

stained with tears

#bones

The dying bones

beneath your skin seek

the soft touch of the air

Their ends stretch out

your corners

like new white teeth

erupting from gums

#candle

This man

has drowned

your heart

in darkness.

I have a candle

Let us strike a match.

#swans

It's

22:22

And

In

That

Minute

I

See

4

Swans

Swim by

#mosque

I glance left

a beautiful young woman

runs out of the Central Mosque.

She sees me and

instantly

slows to

a walk.

#inspirations

At the car hire shop

there is a jar

on the shelf

behind Chloe

marked "Inspirations"

It is sealed

and has three

small

pieces of paper

inside

#chew

Three young women

sit eating steak

in Saha Steak House

teeth on chewy flesh.

An elderly man walks by

& puffs out his cheeks

in a silent whistle.

More #twitterings

Just one or two more recent twitter prompted writings...

#Playful Kitten  


I knew a PlayfulKitten once
she'd find the warmest place to nap
But she GrewUp
&learned to pounce
&fills her LitterTray with crap. 
#ashverse

prompted by @AshBaget

Ok 

I've upgraded 

Was on payasyougo 

Now on monthly contact 

But not sure how long it will last 

She's a touchscream 

I love my new girl friend

#vss

  

#ALoveShapedHole

I fell into a love-shaped hole
But all I found was dust and coal
Maybe I mistook
You for mine 

@rdsadams

#TraceyLee

Tracey Lee, Tracey Lee

Likes her toast and jam for tea

Strawberry, raspberry, apricot –

She doesn't mind, she likes the lot

@mmtoastandjam

#Running on Sunshine

You tell me that

when summer is done 

& you head back to school 

you'll be leaving me 

So till then 

are we 

Running on sunshine? 

#capturedpoets

 

#twitterings

Twitter offers lots of opportunities for working your creative muscle in small ways.  Various tweeters have established prompts and hashtags to inspire short micropoems and microstories.  On twitter search for hashtags #LossLit #HeartSoup #wordchimes #MSpoetry and plenty more for a rich compendium of tasty little poetic titbits.

These are some of mine:

#trance

Stood in a trance

at a busstop

I realised

my vacant gaze

had fallen

on a young woman

who was slowly

and deliberately

exposing her midriff

#capturedpoets

#JoyofDays

We shared the sunlit

joy of days

but unaccustomed

to its rays

you left

& have become

the Gothic author

of my sleepless

dreams

#RavensVeil

#climbintome

Climb into me she said 

but the ladder 

I had made 

from flowers 

& words 

& feathers 

was far too fragile 

and crumbled beneath me  

#stone

Stone-eyed children

 wander these dark streets

to sleep on 

granite pillows 

soaked by tears and rain.

#underwater

It’s only as I’m

drowning here

eyes and nose

full of sudden wet sorrow

that I can hear

the mermaids sing

#lists

With sharpie

she listed my patent faults

a post-it on the fridge.

I grated my fingernails

down the black

memoboard

on the door -

There’s another,

she said.

#snapdragon

You seem to follow

the snapdragon path

cleared by your

acerbic mother:

you, the bud

she, the wilting flower.

#petals

Hey,

don’t love me like petals:

they unfurl,

they curl,

they drop.

Love me like

pine needles –

fresh, scintillating,

evergreen.

#myfavouritelie

How will you love me?

What colour, your sigh?

You’ll be my what

that will never die?

Of all of yours

this is

my favourite lie.

#Dusted cocoa

1

Dusted cocoa,

Demerara sugar,

I’ll meet you in the middle.

you,

me -

crunchy,

sweet.

2

so we did the kitchen

in

dusted cocoa

but as Ben said

paint would have been cheaper

3

...and then dredge

with dusted cocoa

for that final decadent flourish.

Now lick.

#black satin

To thumping Clubland rhythms,

you dance out your pain

black satin and lace,

all hips and face,

you're beautiful,

Granddad.

#sudden glow

there was no

sudden glow

just an

undertow

dragging me into

this pool

of wine

Top Cats

Holly and Willow the cats,
Have found a wormhole in the slats.
They creep through and hide
Till the turn of the tide
And come home sporting boaters and spats.

#kiss

You want to what?

Kiss me?

Ok... Whatevs,

fill yer boots.

No tongues!

#quills

Grandma kept geese;

took goosedown and thread

to a quilling bee.

Wasn't it just a typo?

Nope. 

Now she keeps her pinions to herself.

#Universal Process

Un-likely as it may seem

I’ve never

r-eally doubted

Sal-ly was a

pro-fessional prin-

cess

Universal Ups and Downs

It appears

that twelve

eleven

fourteen

has been

for me

a two penny day.

2p.

I thought for a moment 

it was to be a seven penny day

7p,

but, as I bent to pick it up,

it turned out

what I thought was a 5p

was in fact

a 1 eurocent

how deflating…

Above

however

300millionmilesaway

Rosie and Phil

on a trip to Comet,

spending 

shedloadsofcash,

split up

over 67p

(it was to have been

46p

but Rosetta missed a crucial date

and they had to

change their expectations.)

Comet 

could probably have done with that sort of dosh

a couple of years ago.

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