This Is Just To Say

William,

I have drunk

all the Blue Mountain

coffee

if you want any

you will need

to go to the store

I am not sorry

I perceived that

my need

was greater

than yours

Negotiation #5

What are you doing tomorrow?

What?

What are you doing tomorrow?

What am I doing tomorrow?

while today there are blackbirds

feeding young in the garden

and today the sourdough

is gently lifting in the kitchen -

its first proving

and today is the first day I have

time to sit down

since the last time

I sat down?

What are you doing tomorrow?

What am I doing tomorrow?

when tomorrow is probably filled

up already with moments

blocked with time and trouble and toil?

What are you doing tomorrow?

What am I doing tomorrow?

How easily you clatter the question around

Yes well

there is an Agenda

for tomorrow

I do have an Agenda

for tomorrow

but today

I have only

headings and subheadings

and outlines and landscapes

and plans and pre-frontal projections

and while a few papers have been

submitted for my early consideration

I cannot navigate

the complexities of tomorrow

until the vagaries of today

have been drawn into play

What are you doing tomorrow?

Ah, but if I were to tell you

something

for the sake of an easy answer

it would inevitably be

a short story

of possibles and maybes

a novella of nuance and supposition

a wish-list of the terrifying

and the fearsome

What are you doing tomorrow?

You come here with your crowbar question

levering yourself

into the slim and early tracings

of my promised tomorrow

I was just wondering…

you say

with your innocent

fingers fiddling

with thin porridge on the stovetop

and a sketch of an idea

somewhere across your brow

and I am wary of that sketch

because it is in that sketch that you

forge a steel cage that imprisons me

tomorrow

for it is that sketch

that fetters the ankles of my spirit

tomorrow

that channels the energy of my spirit

tomorrow

that breaks the resolve of my spirit

tomorrow

and casts me

into the pit of your desires

and the fuddle of my despair

What are you doing tomorrow?

If you insist on that question

then there is no tomorrow

do you not see?

there is no tomorrow

no tomorrow

I was just wondering whether you might be able to pick me up from the supermarket?

Negotiation #2

Are you washing up or cooking?

What?

Are you washing up or cooking? I’m not doing both.

No, well I don’t expect you to do both

Good , because I’m not.  So which are you going to do?

Well, which would you rather do?  You’ve been out all day – would you rather sit down while I wash up, and then you cook?  I could make you a gin. Or would you rather wash up and then relax?

God I’d love a gin – been fantasising about one all afternoon!

Ok, so I’ll wash up and make you a gin and you can cook.

I must say I had hoped you might have washed up while I was out.

Yes, well, I have been busy.  I haven’t just been sat around all day.

No, I know…

I have been working, too, you know.  I haven’t just been sat watching youtube, you know.  I have actually been working. 

Yes, I know…

I have.  I’ve booked a course and I bought those train tickets and I’ve been looking at holiday cottages.  So it’s not like I’ve just been sat here doing nothing.

Yes, I know…

You think I don’t do anything while you’re out, don’t you?

No of course not…

Yes, you do. You think I’m just sat around doing puzzles or watching television.

No I don’t.  I…

Holidays don’t just book themselves, you know.  Someone has to do the research.  Someone has to make some decisions.  If we left it to you we’d never go away anywhere.  You do want a holiday, don’t you?

You know I do…

Well, then someone has to sort it out then don’t they.

I’m very grateful.

So pardon me if the washing up isn’t done just when you walk through the door.

I’m just saying…

Pardon me!  But I have been busy you know.  I have been doing things for us, too, you know!

I’m tired.  Do you want a gin?

I’ve sent you a link to four cottages.  Four!  I’ve looked at hundreds and you only need to look at four.  So I need you to have a look and tell me which one you like best.

Ok.  I’ll look next time I’m on.

Make sure you do because we haven’t got long and they're going fast for those weeks.

I will. Gin?

Of course.  Did you get my text?

No.  I’ll make them then, shall I?

God – why don’t you ever check your phone?

I did check.  When did you send it? I checked before I left work.

About half an hour ago.

Well I would have been on the bus then.  I can never hear it on the bus.

I can hear mine on the bus all right.  You need a new phone!

What did it say?

What?

The text.  What did it say?

We’re out of tonic.  So if you want a gin you’ll have to stop at the co-op.