"I Love Lucy"

There’s a female weather forecaster who really knows how to charm me.

The way she demonstrates the map is surefire to disarm me.
And the strength of these warm feelings is beginning to alarm me,

Keeley looking lovely

but, although she is quite lovely too,

it isn’t Keeley Donovan.

(Hope you're not too disappointed Keeley...you're probably my No2!)

Helen certainly knows her arse from her anticyclone

I love her in the morning when the Sun begins to shine

I love her in the afternoon although it isn’t fine

I love her in the evening when the breeze is soft and balmy

And, although she really knows her stuff,

it isn’t Helen Willets.

(You're smart, Helen, just not my type...)

Isobel, oh Isobel...

I haven’t had a crush like this or felt this sort of pang

since I was left bereft of love by the gorgeous Isobel Lang.

For when the storm’s about to hit there’s only one who’ll calm me

but, although she is a stunner, too,

There's something about Laura... gales.

it isn’t Laura Tobin.

(Isobel, oh Isobel...)

Wendy Hurrell... check out youtube

Don’t get me wrong, by other weather girls I’m not annoyed.

Wendy Hurrell has a friendly look, as does Sian Lloyd.

Steady, Sian, steady!

But when the forecast is severe, my fantasy must star me

with the focus of my lust

not Liam bleeding Dutton

Liam Dutton... 'nuff said.

(No offence, Liam, but... well...)

I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in expressing such a “whoop”

My brother, too, I see has joined an appreciative facebook group

where men like us can fantasise and drive each other barmy

with talk of dreams and wedding plans,

of dinner dates and baby scans,

of how we’d like to just hold hands

with Lucy Verasamy.

Definitely breezy, hot and "on the coool side"