The Feeding of The Muse

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Boys and Girls,

Today at Eight

and then again at Six

there will be

The Feeding of The Muse.

If you wish to observe

this Engaging Event

please assemble in Plenty of Time

at the Assembly Point

indicated by Your Guide

Note:

When feeding has commenced

there will be

No Going Back.

Please do not stand

forward of the

Yellow Line

(Any unauthorised crossing of the

Yellow Line

is entirely at

Your Own Risk.)

If you listen carefully

you may be able to hear

the

Call of The Hungry Muse

while you are waiting

(Although, ironically

the Call is a

Deep

Dark and

Distinctive

Silence.)

Please hand all

Electro-magnetic Equipment

to

The Attendant

No Flash Photography

is Permitted

as this can damage

The Vision of the Muse.

You are advised to

Dress Appropriately –

Wet Weather Attire

may be required

as

The Feeding of The Muse

can be a somewhat

Messy Business.

Light Refreshments

will be available

in Reception but

Please Refrain

from

Feeding The Muse

Unregulated  Titbits

as this can lead to

Over Stimulation,

Loss of Tone,

and a

Terrible Mess

to clear up.

Disclaimer:

Please Note

that while

The Feeding of The Muse

takes place at

Regular Intervals

The Muse may not actually produce anything

of Any Value

for weeks.

The Management

cannot be held responsible

for

Non-Appearance

of the Muse

or any

Sense of Disappointment

induced in Observers.

Any Admission

is Retractable.

The Martian Schoolgirl

I was in love with a Martian Schoolgirl

Her eyes were green as steel

She fired her poison darts at me

And taught me how to feel.

I was in love with a Martian Schoolgirl

I followed her into space

But if I tried to kiss her

She slapped me round the face.

I was in love with a Martian Schoolgirl

Her hair was as dark as the dead.

She flew in her little spaghetti craft

Three feet above my head.

I was in love with a Martian Schoolgirl

She sang as sweet as the night

She put out a single on Cherry Red Records

But they banned it out of spite.

I was in love with a Martian Schoolgirl

The pick of the Martian crop

I wanted her to love me back

Then I couldn’t make her stop.

I was in love with a Martian Schoolgirl

But she didn’t treat me right

She drank my blood in the bike shed

And kept me out all night.

I was in love with a Martian Schoolgirl

An earthbound schoolboy’s dream

She never even learned my name

But she taught me how to scream.

Now Martian Schoolgirls come and go

And this one came and went

And the currency of my human heart

Has all been spent.

Name-bers

When I was young I loved that old counting rhyme Yan, tan tethera reputedly chanted by shepherds counting sheep.  I got to playing about and this happened...

Una, tom, terry, perry,

paul,

stella, steven, olaf, nina,

dick.

Dickuzzi, dicktum, dictionary, pictionary,

digaul,

dickella, kesteven, dickolaf, dickina,

tomalin.

Unatomalin, tomtomalin, terrytomalin, perrytomalin,

paulotomalin,

stellatomalin, stevatomalin, olatomalin, ninatomalin,

terrylene.

Unaterrylene, tomyterrylene, terryterrylene, perryterrylene,

pauloterrylene,

stellaterrylene, steviaterrylene, olaterrylene, ninaterrylene,

peridot.

Unaperidot, tomyperidot, terryperidot, perryperidot,

paulaperidot,

stellaperidot, steviaperidot, olaperidot, ninaperidot,

palomino.

Unapalomino, tompalomino, terrypalomino, perrypalomino,

paulapalomino,

stellapalomino, steviapalomino, olapalomino, ninapalomino,

stelartois.

Stelartois…

Stephanotis…

Olazabal…

Ni…

Unani, tomni, terryni, perryni, paulani

Stellani, steviani, olafni, ninani…

Una Hungary

Tom Hungary

Alexandria

Tomalexandria

Maximillian

David and Goliath

When

David stood before the Giant

he armed himself with stone and sling

against the mighty Philistine magnum - 

the sword, the spear, the death machine.

And

those who watched would hold their breath

and stand hand in hand on the bank of Elah

to see him fight the mountain man

dressed in armour and with helm of bronze.

And

so bravely young David stood

and shouldered all the fear and dread

of a nation under battle

their hopes and dreams of life in peace

The

shepherd boy who leads his country

to victory over the savage foe,

who holds the just and fairest vision

of life to live, and love to grow.

And

Saul the King was afraid of David

for the Lord was with him

then.

Now

when I look

at the weak and the powerful
all I see are tables turning.

I cannot see where David stands

But is this he who phones a warning?
Is this he who drives the tank?

Is this he beneath this dome?

Is he now the bold protector

fighting for the oppressed home?

I cannot see the justice

and maybe I cannot see the truth

but I can see who holds the sling

and 
who holds the bloody sword.