Julian, The Lover

In the dressing room
Julian sits combing his wig.

He sings in a quavering tenor.

Mario Lanza
The Student Prince....

Unapologetically, an explosive crack reverberates from his plastic seat.
He has farted - again.

He continues to sing.
I cast him an accusing and resentful glance as the aroma rises.
It goes unnoticed by the perpetrator.

He stands and adjusts his breeches.

- These too small, he says pulling roughly at the crotch.
- Hm.  I'm trying not to breathe in.
- I have big arse.  Too big for these.  Big arse.  Women like big arse on a man.  A big hammer for a big nail!

He laughs.

- Ha!  I give good meat injection!