'Well we're going
back,' said Phyll.
'What?!' Ann's
voice steadied a little. Hope rising as she took in what her mother
was saying.
'We're going back.
And we're going to find it,' said Phyll. 'There's no way you're
losing that. We'll find it, you'll see. I can feel it. Go and get
in the car. Come on Duncan, you come too.'
'What? Me? Why?'
said Ann's brother.
Twenty minutes
later and we were back on the beach. Felixstowe. Summer heat
hanging on though the breeze had lifted a little.
I stopped and
scanned the horizon. A tanker balked on the skyline. At this
distance it seemed motionless as if set on the shelf of the sea. But
when I checked again a few minutes later I could see it had moved.
Like it was playing some magnificent, slow game of Grandmother's Footsteps.
'Come on, Chris.
Help!' Ann was with her mother and Duncan, heads down, all in a line
stretched out across the shingle. Eyes becoming fingers, touching
shells, turning stones, sea glass, in the clinging hope that the
watch would appear.
I caught up with
them, coming in between Ann and Duncan. I slipped my hand into
Ann's. She squeezed it but released it immediately.
'Not so close,' she
said without looking up. She pushed me away a little, and Duncan too moved slightly further out.
Phyll had dropped behind us, scouring the ground more thoroughly. Her
positive tone from before had changed somewhat.
'I can't believe
you came here with it on. What were you thinking?'
'Don't, Mum,' Ann
snapped. 'Just don't!'
'What would Nana
say? I told her she shouldn't have given it to you. She should have
waited till....' Her voice trailed off.
'Waited till when?'
Ann's voice rose in indignation at her mother's suggestion.
'Nothing. Forget
it.'
'Waited till she
was dead – that's what you mean, isn't it.'
'Don't be so
horrible, Ann.'
'But that is what
you're saying, isn't it? She shouldn't have given it to me. She
should have left it to me in
her will! That's what you're saying.'
'That's
not what I'm saying,
and you know it.'
'Oh,
just shut up!'
A heavy silence
settled upon us once again.
I
couldn't help but think that, actually, Ann's Nana would not really
have much thought about it either way.
We'd
been to see her the summer before in North Berwick. Caught the bus
from Edinburgh. A glorious day, the Firth of Forth glittered under a
cloudless sky.
We
got off on the main street and bought grapes and a pack of Tunnocks
teacakes to take to her. Then we climbed the hill out of the little
town until we found the path that led through carefully- tended
grounds surrounding the home. It was a grand building, white against
the green lawns with gentle gravel paths and wooden benches.
Residents dotted themselves around the grounds. They seemed
motionless and yet, when I looked again, I could see they had moved.
Inside
the heat hung like fog. Radiators on full. The air was dry, with the
smell of warm carpet and recently cooked cabbage. We were led into the day-room and there was
Nana, sat in a high-backed, winged armchair looking out through one
of the bay windows.
Ann's
voice didn't seem to register immediately.
'Hello,
Nannan!'
It
must have been a greeting heard regularly here and old Mrs Bathgate
left it unheeded.
'Nannan?'
Ann moved and placed her hand on the old woman's where it rested on
the arm of her chair.
She
looked up at Ann and smiled.
'Ooh!'
she said. 'Now who's this?'
Her
soft Scots accent made a gift of the words.
'It's
me,' said Ann, 'Ann. Tom and Phyll's daughter. You remember.'
'Of
course it is,' said Nana. 'Tom and Phyll's daughter. You're Ann. I
can see that. And here you are. Ann.'
She
smiled and took Ann's hand in both of hers.
'Come
and sit down, ma' hen.'
I
moved to find a chair – an ordinary dining chair for Ann and set it
down close enough to Nana so that Ann could sit down without letting
go her hand.
'You're Ann. Tom and Phyll's daughter. Yes. Ann. And here you are.'
'Nana,
I want you to meet someone.'
'Oh
yes, dear.'
'This
is Chris.' Ann looked up at me and took my hand.
'Chris,'
said Nana. 'Oh yes, Chris. My, he's a handsome young fellow, isn't
he? Chris.'
'We're
engaged,' said Ann. 'I wanted you to meet him.'
'Oh,'
said Nana, 'engaged are you? So he's not for me then?' She twinkled
her eyes at me and chuckled to herself, her shoulder lifting up to
her ears.
'Nannan,'
scolded Ann. 'Don't be naughty!'
'He's
a handsome fellow. What did you say his name was?'
'Chris.'
'Chris,
yes Chris, that's right. I remember. And you are...?'
'Ann.
Tom and Phyll's daughter.'
'That's
right.'
'They
send their love!'
'Hm?'
'Mum
and Dad. They send their love.'
'Oh,
no dear, they're dead now.'
'No,
no – my mum and dad, Tom and Phyll. They send their love.'
'Oh.
Tom and Phyll. Oh, are they here?'
'No
they're in Ipswich. Chris and I are just up for the festival.'
'Ipswich?
What are they doing in Ipswich?'
'They
live there. In Ipswich.'
'Oh
I don't think they should do that, dear. Now wait...' She paused to
search her thoughts for a moment. 'Ach, it's... no I'll tell you
tomorrow.'
'We're
staying in your flat, Nana. Chris and I. For the festival... well
for a few days.'
'Oh, lovely.'
'You
remember your flat. On Leith Walk?'
'Remember.
Oh yes, I remember. Who's this young man? Yes, Leith Walk.'
'Chris.
He's my fiancé.'
'Oh
yes. I remember.' Again she paused with a furrowed brow. 'Och,
no... no I'll tell you tomorrow.'
Suddenly
her eyes brightened and opened wider.
'Ann,'
she said. 'Ann Julie. Your Thomas's daughter.'
'Yes!'
said Ann. 'Thomas and Phyllis.'
'Oh
how lovely that you've come to see me.'
'I
wanted you to meet Chris.'
'Yes,
Chris. How lovely.'
She
looked at me with grey violet eyes. Took my hand in hers. Her skin
was pearlescent, cool and dry under my fingers, wrinkling as I
stroked my thumb gently across the back of her hand. Her age granting me permission for such an intimate act.
She smelled of
peppermints and lavender.
'Ann,'
she said. 'I've something for you. Young man, would you go to that
table, open the drawer and bring me the box from inside.'
She
indicated a small table and I followed her instructions. She opened
the box and removed a wrap of white tissue paper.
'Take
that, Ann, it's for you. I don't need it any more. I've been
keeping it for you.
Ann
took the tissue wrap and carefully unfolded the paper.
'There!'
cried Phyll. 'There it is!!'
She
rushed forward, bent over and pulled the watch from the sandy
shingle.
'Oh
thank God!!' cried Ann. 'Mummy, Mummy, Mummy! You clever thing!'
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