I've recently joined a writing group called Electric Tomatoes.
Each week there is a warm up prompt - to which we write for ten minutes or so and then share. Then a main prompt, for a longer write - about an hour. This week's main prompt was as the title of the post - In the beginning there was Kevin. This is what I wrote:
In the beginning it
was the way the sun rose behind the mountains.
I watch the horizon
as the sky brightens. You can smell the changes of light. The
curlews call more at this time of day too. You can hear them across
the water. Maybe they call all day but it is the mornings when I
hear them most. Me, down on the foreshore with my first cup.
Sipping black heat into the morning fug in my head. Caffeine
coursing through my thin limbs.
Yes that's what
attracted me to the place first – the sunrise. Although...
Well, no, of course
it wasn't really because I wouldn't have known about the sunrise if I
hadn't been here already anyway. So I suppose to be most truthful –
and God knows I've learned that I need to be truthful – to be most
truthful I was first attracted to the place because it was cheap.
The only one I could afford actually so the choice was made for me.
God knows I did not
expect to be spending Dad's inheritance convalescing. But thank God
it was there. That sounds awful doesn't it? Like I'm saying 'Thank
God Dad's dead.' And of course I don't mean that. I miss him every
day. Every day. Sometimes it seems it's getting worse – the
missing him.
I still hear him
behind me sometimes. When I'm in the kitchen usually – at home
that is, not here. I haven't heard him here. But at home, and the
house is quiet he comes into the kitchen while I'm washing up and
just stands there. I don't turn around because I know he isn't there
really – and I like the feeling. It's comforting.
So yes it was the
cheapness of the place that first attracted me. Because to be
honest, the brochure listing didn't do it any favours. Really
they just needed a photo of this sunrise over the lough to sell it.
And of course it
wasn't really choosing this place that was the start of it. You have
to go back a bit further – before Dad had died really. Back to my
diagnosis. Dad had been brilliant of course, running me back and
forth. He knew the score by then. Knew the route in his sleep. But
Mum's had been so short – we were still shocked that she was ill at
all when she passed. And I suppose it was that shock that hit me so
hard. Was I going to go as quickly?
So I suppose,
looking back, you'd have to say it was Mum's illness that triggered
it all. My... well my 'wobbly' as I like to call it.
She'd have loved
this place. Mum.
We used to come to
Ireland when we were kids. Not here but South – Kerry.
'We're going home!'
she'd say, 'and I'll hear no complaints!'
Of course we did
complain.
'Awh, Mum! Not
again! There's never anything to do!'
'There's plenty to
do,' she says 'you know you love it when we get there!'
'No we don't!'
Looking back, Trish
was the loudest. She was older. Always looking for something more.
'Why can't we go
where there are people!' she
said. By which she meant boys of course.
'You'll
have quite enough to do with 'people' when you're older, young lady!'
said Mum.
I
still think that sending Trish to the Convent to school was perhaps
what actually started the 'problems' with 'people' that seemed to
punctuate her life after that. Still do, as it goes.
'God
you'll be the death of me, young lady,' Mum said once after the third
visit to the school.
So
maybe that was when it started. Back then.
Dad
couldn't handle her at all – not in those wild years. She would be
at it with Mum, rowing in the kitchen, and he'd be sat at the table in the dining room,with his
hook box, listening – taking it all in while he finished his fly
hooks – damsel, mayfly.
'They
don't look like flies to me,' I told him.
'But
if you're a trout,' he says, 'Down there looking up into the bright
sun through the water and this plops onto the surface, then away,
then back again, then away. Then when it comes back yet again, then,
my boy, then you'd snap at it with your murderous, hungry jaws.
Believe me, you'd think that all your birthdays... believe me! You
come with me!' he said, 'next time, you come. You'll see.'
'Hmm'
I
never went.
He'd
have loved this place. Especially up by the beck.
You'd
have loved it here, Dad.
So
he'd sit there taking it all in and then there'd be a pause and he'd
casually drop something in. Like a stone in a well.
'But
Nan – I think you're being a bit harsh, darling. Look, how about if
I go and get her afterwards, you know. Or we could like set a time –
ten o'clock or something. How would that be?'
That
was the stone.
It
falls silently. Stones do.
They
only make a noise when they land.
This
well was deep.
The
stone fell through the dark silence until...
It
hit.
But
not water – glass – panes of glass wedged into the walls. So
that one by one the stone smashed through them – shattering them
into the most violent, cacophonous explosion of Irish expletives
ever listed. Counterpointed with shrieks of horror and disgust from
my sister, as my father's attempts to cauterise the wounds my mother
had inflicted upon her proved more painful than the wounds
themselves.
'Shut
yer feckin' mouth, you feckin' eejit! I not having no daughter of
mine out all night with that good-for-nothing excuse for a lump of
shite!' bawled the mother.
Backed
by Trish's 'Oh my God, no way are you coming to get me! God I'd
rather stay here and dag my eyes with knitting needles than
have you come and get me. At ten o'clock. For fuck sake, I'm not
six!'
'Don't talk to your
feckin' father like that. How feckin' dare you speak to him like
that. You'll get to your room this instant, young lady, and you'll
stay there till you've learned some feckin' manners!'
But Trish was
already out the door and slamming her feet on the treads of the stairs.
'You're fucking
bastards and I hate you. Both!'
So was it then that
the trouble started? I don't think so. She was young.
She'd hate this
place.
'There are no
fucking shops!'
No! There are no
shops! There's this amazing sunrise. There's the tide coming in up
the lough. The seals drifting up with the current and then just
bottling heads up, checking me out on the shingle.
No there are no
shops. No fucking shops!
And yet there was
something about him that made
her crazy. She was never like it with her other boyfriends. But
this one was a screwball – kicking against everything.
I
hated him. He treated me like an ally. I hated it.
He'd
drop Trish home and she'd be off rowing with Mum in the kitchen.
He'd come up to my room, me in bed. He'd sit on the chest of
drawers.
'Hey
kidder, you awake. Kidder?'
'Wha?...'
'Fuck! You
should have seen the new barmaid at the Nag's... All tits and teeth.
You could open a beer bottle in her ass!'
He
sits on the chest of drawers. Farts.
'Fuckin'
hell, mate! I think that one left a mark!'
He
strikes a match to burn away the noxious gas.
Yes.
Maybe it was him, that started all the trouble.
Yes
.
Kevin.
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