Fly

In dreams I can fly

it is simple enough
a tightening of muscle
a shortening of sinew
a concentration of blood

there is
no frantic flapping of limbs
no wild leap into the air

No

I simply close eyes

tighten the core
breathe
flute my exhalation
through whistling lips
until I float
up, up into air
suspended

from the bubble

in my skull

in dreams I am free
from the poison of gravity

I tried it again today
in gusty hope
tried it as I walked home
in the belly of the wind

how certain I was
remembering the ease of dreams
feeling the fillip
beneath my arm pits
as my father
standing behind me
would grip his fingers
under these skinny pockets
and gift me moments
of fumbling flight
feet flailing free

laughing to dizziness

but today I was wakeful
and it is too hard
to tense each muscle

around the liver
summon blood

from distant corners

of a corpse

my will is oh so soft
while I am awake
and my father

is long dead

but one day
when my bones
are hollow as birds
and left sky-bleached
under gracious clouds
the ludicrous air will
whisper through them
of how I once could fly