In dreams I can fly

In dreams I can fly

it is simple enough
a tightening of muscle
a shortening of sinew
a concentration of blood

there is
no frantic flapping of limbs
no wild leap into the air

I simply close eyes

tighten the core
breathe
spell my exhalation
through whistling lips
until I float
up, up into air
suspended

from the bubble

of my skull

for in dreams I am free
of the poison of gravity

I tried it again today
in gusty hope
tried it as I walked home
in the belly of the wind

how certain I was
remembering the ease of dreams
feeling the fillip
beneath my arm pits
as my father
standing behind me
would slip his fingers
under these skinny pockets
these boney sockets

and gift me moments
of fumbling flight
feet flailing free

spinning round and round

carving circles in the trees with my heels

me laughing to dizziness

as the world

was smudged

into fast nonsense

but today I was wakeful
and it is too hard
to tense each muscle

around the liver
summon blood

from distant corpse corners

my will is soft
while I am awake
and my father

long dead

but one day
when my bones
are as hollow as birds
and left to drift sky-bleached
under gracious clouds
the ludicrous air will
whisper through them
of how I once could fly