Oh Dad!

Pull my little finger

says Dad

Go on, pull it.

He’s holding out his little finger

I pull it and

a fart comes out of his bottom.

Dad!

What does a ship do when it comes into harbour?

says Dad.

I don’t know, I say.

Ties up!  he says,

and he flips my tie up in front of my nose.

Dad!

I’m in the car,

says Dad

when he isn’t really – he just wants to get going

but Mum says

there are still things to do and he can sit there as long as he likes

but she gets on better when he’s out of the way

sitting in the car.

And when it’s teatime

and he comes in from gardening

his grey jumper smells all smoky of bonfires

and there’s a drop of sweat dripping off his nose.

But when he comes home from work late

he tries to creep in so no-one can hear him

and he creeps along the hall

to the sitting room

where we’re all sitting watching Top of the Pops

and he pokes his head round the door very quietly

and says

hell-ooo

And we all jump

and go

Oh Dad!


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