Confession

So, Nuala

Can I tell you now this secret?

I knew your mother

once

a life ago

more than once

and many times

I held her

and she held me

in ways you may discover

but she distressed me with her

distance and her constancy

while I destroyed us in

another’s arms

but in all the years that have since

flowed over me

I only have regretted

what I did

and I have never repeated

that particular travesty

so when you see your mother next

please tell her this

that although I cannot say I love her now –

that would be ludicrous –

I carry still the burden

of my clumsiness

and wish

that time could turn again

and I would do things differently –

we may not even

stay the course

a second time

but I would be more honest and

courageous

and should our loving of each other

cease

a second time

then I would seek to find a

more respectful

way to leave



Chris reading Confession