A collection of poems and other writings...

Friday 9 January 2015

Robert & Jacksons

This is a true story
Jacksons is/was a small supermarket chain in Hull
Robert is/was a vegetarian in Hull...


Robert is just
Popping Down The Shops.

He needs some Chick Peas
for Hummus
for Tea.

I’ll try Jacksons, he thinks.
He goes in to
the Little Supermarket
and goes along The Aisles
looking for the Tinned Goods

They’ve got
Mushy Peas
and Cut Beans
in tins.
They’ve got Little Baby Potatoes
and Butter Beans
and Creamy Mushrooms
in tins.
And of course
they’ve got
Baked Beans
in Several Different Varieties.

But no Chick Peas.

Robert goes to the checkout

He says to the Young Lady who works on the till

Excuse me, do you have Chick Peas?

She says

What?

Chick Peas, he repeats.

Do you sell Chick Peas?

Er, I Dern’t Kner.
I’ll Gerandask?*

She goes to the Back Of The Shop
and Out Through The Door.

She is gone Some Time.

She must be finding some,
thinks Robert.

Eventually she returns

She looks at him for a moment
with a Curious Expression,
and then she says,
What did you say they were?

Chick Peas, says Robert again.
Have you got any Chick Peas?

Er, Hang On, she says
and she disappears out the back again.

Another few minutes pass.

Where Is She? thinks Robert.

She comes back and looks at him again
quizzically.
Eggs

Well?
says Robert.

Er,  she says,

Do you mean eggs?

*
This is "Hull" for "Oh I don't know, I'll go and ask."

Chick Peas


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